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FAQ

This post is not sponsored by Amazon. I just really, really love Amazon.

I have a lot of people to thank for my education: my parents, for always supporting me; Michael Bloomberg, for funding my education; my friends, for forcing me back on the right track every time I threaten to drop out. Without them, I wouldn’t be in college. But there’s a possibly even greater force that has made my college education possible: Amazon Prime.

For those of you who are unaware of this perfect service, Amazon offers Prime for a yearly fee (discounted for students who sign up with a .edu email!!!), and you receive free 2-day shipping on most items. It’s amazing, because I am both impatient and an occasional procrastinator.

I was recently looking back through my orders, though, and I’ve realized that I’ve ordered some really weird stuff. Yeah, there are textbooks and necessary home goods, but there are also things that are a little bit more difficult to rationalize. But, hey, that’s college; you’ll find yourself desperately needing a neon fanny back (or, rather, 2 of them) that say PARTY on them. Looking back at my orders, I can pretty much represent and sum up my college experience through the things I’ve purchased from Amazon.

Here are some of the things that I’ve ordered from Amazon Prime this semester, and why they were so necessary to have in 2 days.

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 12.56.19 PMWe’ll start off easy. Why wouldn’t I need a Razor scooter? Do I really need to explain this one? I bought it over the summer as a quasi-joke, because I can’t resist anything that costs under $30. But I love my razor scooter, and I ride it around my (carpeted) apartment. I’m still working up the confidence to take it outside, though I know I would look totally cool.

 

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 12.56.42 PM Crafting is one of my hobbies; look inside my under-the-bed bin and you’ll find really random items that you may also find in the dumpster behind a Michael’s. This summer, I tackled my most ambitious crafting project yet: a painted cooler. It went extremely well, and these supplies made it possible. I have leftovers of them, too, in case any of my friends become awesome enough to deserve the blood, sweat, and tears that go into a customized cooler. Friends: I am now accepting bribes.

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my first born child

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These items aren’t really weird, but this is a total personality pic. People know me by the liquid eyeliner that I always wear, and this is the product that makes it possible. Seriously, it’s less than $5. Additionally, my life would fall apart without my planner, and I think other college students share this sentiment. This one is really fun (it comes with stickers!!) and keeps me sane.

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What?! 0 dollars?! Amazon messed up my order and so I got this shirt for free! I highly recommend it, even if I never got the chance to wear it to an actual game this fall. I’ll be ready for spring, Go Os!

 

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 12.57.29 PM My anecdote about needing a (or two) neon green fanny pack that says PARTY wasn’t a joke. We had an 80s workout themed mixer, and I went all-out. One of my best <$10 purchases to date.

TRIPLE FANNY PACK ACTION

TRIPLE FANNY PACK ACTION

 

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Sometimes you just gotta buy some fake blood. But this time, it had a purpose: Emelynn and I went as the Grady twins from the Shining for Halloween.

 

we took our pictures in char mar because we were hungry

we took our pictures in char mar because we were hungry

 

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 1.03.42 PMNo, sadly, this is not for my new pet. Amazon Prime becomes a lifesaver during Halloween when you have no idea how to scrounge together multiple costumes. I wanted to be Ariana Grande a la the donut-licking incident, so I bought this donut dog toy. Voila! Costume in a pinch.

 

0 people knew what I was, it's totally fine, because at least I understand my obscure pop culture references.

Everyone thought I was just a cat with a donut, but it’s fine, because I thought I was really funny.

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 12.55.29 PMFor Alpha Phi, we hosted a s’mores making event where freshmen could meet sisters and learn more about Greek Life. I saw this as a chance to order cute, camp-themed items using money that isn’t my own, and seized that opportunity. The event was a hit, and it was definitely because of my insistence that we needed birch-printed straws.

 

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 1.28.38 PMRecently, Emelynn had a wild urge to do a puzzle. Problem is: puzzles aren’t a super popular thing for stores to have readily in stock. We found a 1000 piece jigsaw of the Cinque Terre, and it arrived in two days. She finished it in less than that.

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Also, shoutout to Amazon for having movies to rent for cheap, enabling me to complete my weekly screenings from the comfort of my bed. You the real MVP.

Omitted from this list was boring, but useful stuff: 6 foot long iPhone cords, a toaster, Tupperware, 11 textbooks, some pens, lightbulbs, an umbrella, Spanx, tissue paper, and a screen protector.

Thank you, Amazon Prime, for every time I put off ordering a very important textbook. Thank you for singlehandedly providing necessary materials for my Halloween costumes. Thank you for your cheap prices, quick service, and one-click ordering that makes me feel less guilty about shopping since I don’t have to enter my credit card information. Thank you for your distinctive boxes, which are easy to find in my building’s jungle of a mailroom. Thank you for being there. I love you, Amazon Prime.