Scheduling for spring semester is always a nerve wracking ordeal (‘always’ referring to my year of knowledge on the matter), but this time around, it sort of unleashed a spooky side of myself I like to call “Molly Psyching Herself Out and Paralyzing Herself and Making It Impossible To Do Anything Productive For A Few Hours.” I went back and forth between three different iterations of my schedule, ended up being waitlisted for two of the necessities (one of which is actually a requirement for my major) upon registration, and commenced to overthink my entire path at Hopkins before 10am.
I want to go abroad for (hopefully) the entire year next year; this will drastically affect the way I get the credits I need to graduate, to go for an art history minor, and ultimately, to come out of Hopkins knowing that I made the most of the amazing courses and resources it has to offer. Something about scheduling for next semester — theoretically my third-to-last semester here — brought all of these thoughts together in one scary explosion, and the rest of my Friday was spent not being able to focus on, you know, finishing up homework and relaxing like a boss.
In addition, the extra-curricular load has been sort of light this semester. In lieu of a not-so-great spring semester GPA, I decided to devote the majority of my efforts to getting my grades up and keeping them there to ensure that I had the qualifying GPA for my study abroad applications. I still do things outside of homework and breathing, but less of my focus has been on getting an internship and thinking about career prospects and ‘networking’ and all of these kind of terrifying buzzwords that I’m reading in my daily emails from the Career Center. I’m only just feeling like I have time to seek out spring/summer internships, to email people and be like, “Hello! I am a Young Enthusiastic Student with a Passion For Writing and ‘The Arts’! Here Are My Qualifications.” JHU_Ebo and I had a quick, semi-stressed out exchange about this via text, and it was nice to know that someone else — a BME, no less — was kind of sort of feeling the same way.
I’m not sure what kind of success I’ll have next semester — academically, with internships, or otherwise — but I do know that I’m not the only one who feels the weight of the ‘young college student’ uncertainty, and I probably don’t need to have everything figured out at this stage in the game. It can be all too tempting to look around at some of my other classmates, with their sophomore fall internships or research projects, and assume that I’m the only one feeling unsure about what direction I’m taking here. As evinced by the aforementioned text conversation, I’m definitely not alone in my sentiments, and I also know more about what I want to do than I give myself credit for most of the time. I love to write, to get off campus and explore the arts community in Baltimore, and to talk to people about it/learn as much about it as a non-native Hopkins student could. I’m doing more of that than I realize most of the time, and while I still have a ways to go experience-wise, I’d say I’m off to a pretty okay start. As a parting note, here’s JHU_Ebo again, trying to decide of art imitates life or vice versa.